Self-assigned photo shoots are really a necessity. Shooting for yourself keeps things interesting and on your own trajectory. When the paid jobs are not where you want to be or where you want to go, it's doubly rewarding. Sometimes, for one reason or another, those shots may not be ones that you can use or ones that fit precisely into your portfolio, and your portfolio needs to represent exactly the kind of work that you want to attract. This latter point took a long time to sink in for me, but it is one of the most important things that a commercial photographer needs to learn. We all want to show work that we are proud of and that shows the world we are versatile and capable. But you need to ask yourself if any given shot in your portfolio is the kind of work that you want to continue to do, and further, if it is consistent with a focused message. Who are your ideal clients? What do they look for? Show them what they are looking for! Chances are, if they are looking for that specific thing, they probably don't want someone who does that thing along with all sorts of other, unrelated kinds of work. I'm sure this is not news.

For photographers, as well as many other disciplines, self-assigned work is really magic. It's an avenue that is freeing, useful and necessary. If you're building a new portfolio, especially one that is heading in a new direction, or if you are unhappy with the alignment of the work you are shooting for pay with your goals, self-assigned work is the answer. It's freeing because the what, when, where, who and how are all up to you. It's your chance to create a world from play-doh, to appropriate a phrase that someone used last week who I unfortunately cannot recall.

But here's where it gets tricky, for me at least; that clean slate. Which way should I go? And when I choose, who will give me permission? There's that word: permission. I used to be a professional musician, and there was always an undercurrent of guilt when I was practicing or working on something that wasn't income-generating. That's a pretty debilitating way to be if you are an artist. I'm not sure what made me like that, but as a musician I was always wary of the people who I would encounter who had “real jobs”. Well, I am older now, and my coping mechanism has grown from the unwavering support of my wife and the fact that I have seen the other side, and I know now that I have it so much better. Now I can give myself permission to work on something that has no practical value at this moment and is not generating income. I can do that because I know that what I am working on is part of what I want to do to be where I want to be, so that I can be sought out by clients, to do that thing.

The essential factor in giving yourself permission to do self-assignments is structure. Where do you want to go? My friend, photographer's consultant Selina Maitreya, talks consistently about “vision”. Without that, where are you going? I am reading David duChemin's new book and he has almost the  identical message. In order to get where you want to be, you need to figure out where that is. Once you have done so, make it happen. And if you don't have enough work that leads you in that direction, create it. I find it very useful to get myself into a situation in which I must create such work. For me, it has been taking the form of art shows. I create the kind of work that I want because no one is really dictating content, and it gives structure and permission to do so. But whatever form the structure takes, make sure that it leaves you free to create the work that you want to keep creating.

Melissa said that she was nervous. I couldn't tell. But we talked about all kinds of things as I arranged lights and modifiers. Melissa works in health care, and her friend Matthew, who came with her to the shoot, works on a sustainable farming project, so we had lots to talk about. She even asked about me, which was really nice, so for a while we talked about music and photography. I was hoping that her nervousness had dissipated by this point, and I was happy to hear her say a little while into it that she was enjoying the shoot.

I think sometimes that a subject's nervousness is actually excitement. Excitement about the event, the process and the whole idea of being literally and figuratively, the focus of attention for that short time.

There are times when you get a chance to photograph someone who is really excited to be photographed. I think this was the case that evening because in these shots of Melissa her personality and beauty just jump out at you. When I do studio shoots like this I rarely photograph two people the same way. After we interact for a while, I start to develop a direction in my mind of the way in which I want the shoot to go and how to capture that person in images. With Melissa, I knew somehow that I just wanted a simple, almost monochrome theme, and that I was working with someone with whom I could use relatively hard light, and would absolutely glow, contrasting with the starkness of the scene in a really significant way.

Last week I worked with independent film maker, Bridget Driscoll, of Mill City Studios, photographing her at the famous West End Gym, in Lowell, Massachusetts. We were after environmental portraits of her shot in this unique location where she has been documenting the gym, the owners, staff and athletes, and how they all contribute to the community.

Mill City Studios produces all kinds of videos for the academic, business and public service markets. The idea with these shots was to put Bridget in the ring, a central theme of the studio's made-for-TV documentary, "Fighters: Road to the Golden Gloves".  I also had the pleasure of meeting the gym's owner, Art Ramalho, and seeing the location first hand. I can attest that this is not a movie set, but the real thing. I really wanted to capture the real look of the gym, so nothing in the scenes was moved and I lit Bridget without gels and allowed plenty of ambient light into the shots so that I could get the color of the fluorescent lights around her.

Bridget Driscoll at The West End Gym in Lowell, MassachusettsAn environmental portrait of Bridget Driscoll at the West End Gym

Lindsey's friend Kerry came in to be photographed too. Kerry is a commercial landscaper and is one of the happiest people that I know. I wanted portraits of Kerry to capture that aspect of her, but I also wanted to get a range of emotions because she seems to have an inner happiness that comes through no matter what her demeanor may be at any given moment.

But this is the Kerry we know!

I've been struggling for quite a while with my blog and all of the other social media that we all are telling ourselves we need to exploit. The thing is, I am constantly thinking that I need to say something profound, compelling, deep... or be the expert at something. But then I start to think about my audience. All photographers love and appreciate the praise of other photographers and want to be thought of as someone who does what they do well. But we also know that other photographers aren't exactly our "target" audience. It's great to have their attention, and all attention to a blog has a beneficial effect on our search engine rankings. But the people we really want to interest are the ones who may hire us to continue creating that work that got us the attention in the first place. Right? Be honest!

So I'm not going to play the expert. I know stuff. But that isn't my point here. The reason that I blog is to show off my work and to hopefully create interest in what I do, so that I might do it for someone. So here's my Halloween Resolution, the concept of which I think I just invented: come to my blog to see my work, whatever it may be at any given time. There may be no point to the blog entry other than the fact that I want to show off something that I have created. There may be words. Maybe not. I will have event-related posts, as I have done, and I may have guest bloggers (email me if you are interested). But it's about the pictures!

Lindsey's an aspiring photographer. I don't think she understood why I wanted to photograph her. It seemed clear to me.

I stopped by another great festival in Lowell last Saturday. The Lowell Latin American Festival (http://www.lowelllatinamericanfestival.com) was at the North Common Park. I cannot believe that it was pretty much the only good weather that we've had, all last week, and it looks like this week as well. But it was an intensely sunny day. I unfortunately was unable to stay past the middle of the afternoon, so missed the music that was planned, but I did meet many really interesting people.

I plan to be at the Lowell Folk Festival, held downtown in Lowell every summer, in my ongoing personal project to portrait who we are. I hope to see you there!